I'm feeling a bit emotional and nostalgic this evening as I reflect on my current life and how vastly different and changed it is after my time living in Bolivia almost 6 years ago now...wow. That year in Bolivia was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I was 19, rebellious, sick, agnostic, and dealing with demons from my past. It was a dark and lonely time, but it was also a turning point in my life. Things in no way got instantly better after my time there, in fact I still had a lot to learn and more hurdles to cross, but it was a slow steady climb. A pilgrimage. Yes I was a lost little lamb in Bolivia, but the Lord helped me. He sent me a support system in the form of friends from the university. Most of these friends were theology majors (ironically), and they were just what I needed. There was one in particular and his name was Arturo. He was the only one in that university who spoke fluent English. I opened up to him about my childhood, my struggle to believe in God, my anger, rebellion and anxiety. And he listened. He did not judge. He did not scold. He did not preach. He listened and he was present. I thank God for sending me such an incredible presence when I needed it the most. Even though I didn't realize it then, Bolivia was a blessing in disguise and the friendships I made, I will remember and cherish for a lifetime. I still keep in contact with my friends from Bolivia, in fact I was able to go back in 2012 and visit everyone. I did it because I did not know if we would all be together in the same place again on this earth. And that makes me sad. I don't dwell on this thought or anything, but I do think of Bolivia and the incredible people I met there often. We have all moved on and grown up. God knows I have grown (for the better). We have went our separate ways. We have jobs. Many have married. Arturo just told me he was going to propose to his girlfriend...and it may be selfish of me but it saddens me a bit. People move on, that's life, but it still makes me sad. It's not that I don't want him to be happy or get married, in fact he deserves that, he is a wonderful person! It's just that I know things won't be the same. Not that things HAVE been the same, I mean we're on two different continents, but the friendship remains you know? But after a person marries...it's just different. You're not as close to your friends, especially if they're of the opposite sex (which is the way it should be, I'm not disputing that in the least). I guess it's just a hard thought to get used to. Obviously I knew this would happen, it's what people do. But it's so final and definite. Our friendship will never be the same and I'm not ready to let that go. He's been such an integral part of my life, especially when I was in Bolivia. We don't talk often, but it is regular, and when we do, it's meaningful. He is a true friend and life doesn't give you many of those. So I think the best I can do is tell the people I love that I am thankful for them and try to be present and be a good friend in other people's lives. Thank you God for my experience in Bolivia. And thank you for sending me the incredible God fearing people you did. My life is changed because of You.
"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11, 13
