Agnostic

I don't like not having God in my life.

I'm scared, confused, angry.

I'm tired of going around in circles with my doubts and questions. There's never a satisfying conclusion. Neverending cycle.

I talked to God tonight. Thanked Him for a wonderful night with friends, and for a family who loves me at home. I don't really know why I decided to pray.

God knows about my struggles. He knows why I don't believe or have faith in Him. I tell it like it is. I asked for a sign...or something, ANYTHING to make me believe. I told Him that I would need something big, right smack in my face. My dean (who I consider a friend) suggested that maybe God has been showing me...I've just been overlooking it all. She reminded me that God can work through people too.

Open my eyes God. I want to believe in you. I used to say that I needed all my doubt and frustration cleared before I could believe. Is that fair? I dunno. How bout if you give me just enough faith get me started. I'm warning you though, "just enough faith" is actually a pretty substantial amount. I'm a skeptic.