I need people

I spent a year isolated in Bolivia. I didn't make many friends. I spent most of my time alone, with my own thoughts, in my own world, minding my own business. It's hard to explain why I didn't really reach out. It was just so different-culturally I guess. Bolivians aren't typically outgoing and sometimes I was just so drained that I didn't feel like putting forth initiative. I also felt judged and thus resented many of them. I didn't want to get attached because it would just be that much harder to leave them. I told myself that I was there at the University to learn Spanish, not socialize. I told myself that I didn't need friends, I didn't need people, I could get by on my own. I wanted to be independent. I was on a mission to find myself. I had my own problems to solve. Well I certainly found myself, but the truth is, I need people.

  I need people.

 I just realized that I've started this year the same way. I have no friends here. I am a recluse and desperate for social interaction. This is so unnatural for me! I am an Extrovert!! As much as I resisted the "Adventist bubble",  (the reason I initially chose Bolivia was because I didn't want to go to Spain with a group of  rich Adventist white kids from Southern.) I wanted to learn the hard way, and I did. Bolivia was the best decision of my life. So this is where it gets contradicting and stupidly frustrating. Here I am, at community college, stuck at home, with no friends, I realize...I really miss Southern. You really don't appreciate something until you lose it. I decided not to return to Southern for a variety of reasons. But writing them all down is too draining. My current plan is to obtain my AS here at comm. college this year then transfer to Belmont University's Nursing program next fall. But now I'm having second thoughts...I just don't know what to do! I want a hug. And people.