up and down

I've realized that most of the time, I loathe emotions. Mainly because I can't seem to control them and many times they are self-induced. I wish I were a thinker. I hate feeling right now. I hate coming across like some wishy washy unstable emotional freak! I hate myself right now. Emotions cause me more pain than joy, influence my decision-making and cloud my judgement. Go away stupid feelings, for once I wish I could be the heartless one.